Just finished talking on the phone with him.

Quite a few topics but so damn uncertain we are for the future. Though we may sound optimistic but the results are still pending. We just gotta wait. Damn,waiting.. What happens after things don't turn out the way we want it to be?

Correction. The words sounded hopeful,and optimistic. But the tone between the both of us just sounded a bit,nonchalent. Or conceding defeat to Time that this won't be able to work out.
Sigh.

Qian yi,weijie and desmond played mahjong at my place yesterday.

As kaizhi suddenly called qianyi,that was how she knew that I actually had a boyfriend?

Boyfriend,the term sound so. Funny. Or weird. I don't know.

So as they were asking. Some times,I'm pretty much confused with myself as well. Am I really in love with him? Or infatuated? Really... I don't know either. I know I definitely used to like him very very much. But now.. Some times I doubt that he really like me as much either,or maybe he's just busy with school? Is this a feeling of insecure? I read a lot into words,expressions and so on. So it's like,even though I gave him replies like "I like you just the way you are -hugs- " And he'll be like talking about something else. Pretty much seem to be avoiding all these sort of things?

I mean,we weren't like this before. Or rather,I wasn't like this before either. So maybe I should avoid doing that and acting all that lovey dovey,yeah? Perhaps,a nonchalent attitude would make him realise that there perhaps may be something wrong in this 'relationship'. Then perhaps each of us,will seek a solution to this. I must admit,it feels kinda sucky to have this kind of 'underground' relationship.